I wouldn’t lie that I could remember every single moment, as far as I could this happened before 8 years. I don’t remember the dates but it was somewhere around December 2011. It was around 2 AM, I was doing my 9th grade in a residential school. All my roommates were asleep, whereas I was over-thinking about a fight (which I don’t exactly remember) with my best friend. She was in another room and I badly wanted to talk to her. So, I got down from my bed and walked into her room.

She had already been sleeping, so I sat by her side and kissed her on the forehead. She woke up, but she wasn’t her. Wait…What? Nope! Actually, it was a totally different person in the same soul. It was a 5-year-old who responded then! Yeah! All she said was “pink butterfly flew away”. She repeated it in different modulations. I had no idea on what she was trying to convey but it was the cutest moment I’ve ever been with her. It was so childlike, cute that I could remember her actions and hear her voice every time I talk about it.

And when I tried replying, I think she gained her conscious and thus started shouting. Oh, my god, the original is back! Only then I realized that “pink butterfly” was when she was half asleep, she doesn’t remember anything though. Even then, her first question was, “Its midnight and what the hell are you doing here?” Because remember, we were in a fight.

We fight like a 100 times a day then but trust me both of us are a lot more mature now. We can go for long stretches of time without talking and it won’t damage the relationship. You can even turn into a vampire and kill hundreds, and I would still feel closer to you than anyone else.

Though it has been 8 years now and I’m pretty sure we will be together forever, I really miss my pink butterfly.

I never saw her after then! I really want to see you, in case you’re reading this, please come back to me!



The term exams, internals and the finals – it’s pretty much similar to school life. I’m doing my 3rd year in college and just turned 20, passing through the system pretty much effortlessly without stirring too much – smooth sailing! But the thing is I’ve never been able to figure my interests or my passion, it keeps fluctuating. However, the positive point here is I’ve never really had boundaries for them. And so basically my natural assumption or self-driven force actually states someday I’ll be successful. 
 …and then something interesting happened, a sudden little pop-up in my tiny brain about stepping into the real world, but I’ve like two more years for my graduation. My brain’s got all stuck up in tasting the “real-life sucks” stuff. To be honest,  I was on full fire and highly motivated waiting for a chance to prove myself and make an impact on life, on society.

Then probably my first ever vague approach fetched me an opportunity to host a show in one of the popular shopping malls in the city. Yeah, a very good beginning!

Automatically with full battery on, I started exploring more in the real world looking for more opportunities, I realized what I had been was pretty much in every individuals’ mind. And slowly I started to lose a few chances and dealt with disappointments. Presumptuous, I know. I lost all my fire and totally deactivated felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane where it is a low pressure area fully surrounded by high pressure. 

Instantly, I realized that I don’t live in a glitter-filled life and have got into some unfortunate timeless classic grinding ride. Shifting from a smooth sailing boat to an uncontrollable roller coaster ride is huge!

I do know it’s just the beginning, but the bitter truth is though the real world sucks I kinda love it! Eventually, what is life without struggle.  🙂 

The Juncture!

The feel of love at first sight!

It’s just a flash, but every fraction of it could be remembered better. That was the most breath taking the moment every woman could face. From the jiffy of feeling the movements in the womb to the most agonizing contractions- everything, the pain, the tears, lack of sleep, surging hormones, the mental and physical stresses- vanished the moment she saw her little one!

She just felt so infuriated amid the noises and lights of the labor room, which of all those feelings were replaced by love and astonishment that she could actually make such perfect little one! The first time she touched those little fingers, the weight of the world around her disappeared.

It was breathless, heart-aching that combined with happy tears! The feel was more of illuminating realization of amazing epiphany.

It was at that moment that she felt the sense of responsibility and the love that is being a parent, truly the life changing juncture.


Dear Torture

I guess I should start with you suck! 😛

It all originated from an argument! And initially, there were two major reasons,

  1. Similar names (led to a rise in detection)
  2. Height

There is an unambiguous moment in every individual’s life where they know that they have found the person they can count on to be awkward with.The life without you in my school is hell, but yeah even with you-it was! 😛 *emotionally taxing*

Currently, you’re one of the most significant people in my life (in all the aspects). You made me realize that fights and bonds are directly proportional to each other.  I love that we can go months without speaking. As we grow up, people allow time and distance to act as a barrier and an excuse for relationships ending and failing. But ours hasn’t. And I don’t think it ever will. Thank you for that. We have made a ton of memories in the past 6 years that’ll never fade!

We both will have partners in life who complete us in different ways, but we have found someone in each other without whom we’re incomplete.

You, with your smile, your laugh, your friendship – it’s more than I deserve!  And it’s not always about what we say, or what we do – because of you, by yourself, is enough.

I’ll write a better version of this after a decade, so kindly wait until then! 😛

Note- Content mentioned above is purely imaginary, not in an intention to hurt anyone! ❤ 😛


The sound of birds chirping outside my window woke me up from a deep sleep. I got up, stretching while yawning.  I stood up and walked to the dresser to look in the small mirror there. And only then I realized that it was a hospital, a psychiatric ward! And the date was 26th January 2017. But how was that, the last moment I remember was around the month of November and also I had a scar across my chest from my right shoulder that almost reaches to my left hip. And then I tried my best to recollect things…

The first time I saw or felt anything weird was Tuesday, November 11, 2016. It was 9:30 PM, and I was, well, sleeping. Or at least trying to. I felt absolutely exhausted from school. At that time it was only me, Mom, and Dad. Everyone but me was dead asleep. I didn’t know why I couldn’t sleep that night until after all this shit happened. I felt someone or something watching me.

What first attracted my attention was outside. My window was open and I thought I heard someone walking across the garden. I moved my curtains and looked out. Nothing, only the cool autumn breeze, dogs barking in the distance and insects. I still had that feeling. I heard the walking sound and looked again, but saw nothing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move in the veranda. The windows were too tinted, but I kept looking there, and then I saw. The faint tinted image of a man’s face in there, looking forward, turning towards me. I could barely make out the face, but I knew it was one. Startled, I scattered back away from the window and started to freak the hell out. My breathing and heart rate shot sky high.

After that, I told myself it was a hallucination from being so sleepy, or maybe it was a dream, or maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I must’ve convinced myself real good because I slept after that.

The next time something like this happened was three days later. All hype for the weekend to do nothing. Sleep, sleep and more sleep. So this time it was almost midnight. I decided to call it a day after playing video games for hours and hours. I felt relaxed and ready to be out like a light but again came that feeling. And I was scared. I slowly felt frightened and well! I waited and waited, because I knew something would happen something inside me told me it would. And it did. But this time it was in my house. I heard heavy footsteps on the downstairs. Each step up felt hours apart. I was absolutely shocked my family didn’t hear it. The footsteps eventually made their way to the top, where they advanced toward my room. I remember being so damn shocked and scared I felt I couldn’t run or do anything no matter how much I wanted to. The steps made it to my door, or outside my door, I mean. Whatever the hell that thing was, it tried to open my locked door. When it couldn’t, I heard a faint grunt, and that was it. I neither heard nor saw anything else weird for the rest of the night. And I knew I didn’t because I stayed up all night. I don’t know if I’d call it staying up or just not being able to sleep. I knew I couldn’t sleep at all, but I also wanted; felt I needed to stay up.

And then I tried moving out of my room, slowly went behind the noise but it just stopped at a moment. I was freaking out and all of the sudden, there heard fast continuous and heavy footsteps behind me, where I started running and flipped off in the stairs.

So, that’s the flashback! But what was that actually. And then I saw a medical file near me where the patient’s name was printed as Rachel, and yeah it’s mine. And the thing that jerked me out was the diagnosis column, which was filled as Schizophrenia. 

A do or die moment

Well, it has been two days after I completed my 12th board exams. Everybody has an aim in life. Aim or ambition is the inner desire of human. Many dreams of being rich, famous and resplendence among their ambitions, but for me, to deliver humankind through treatment is the maximal ambition of all.

When I was schooled math wasn’t my thing but science was. But then I already fixed the aim of life to be a doctor. Because of the thoughts on white coat and stethoscope I had half sleepless nights and the other half on dreaming about it. More than terming it as an aim or ambition, I would term it as an addiction. Yes! My determination and dedication were all through it.  I never had any desire to narrow and to mutate as a specialist, a physician, a gynecologist or an ophthalmologist.  But then being one is not only my dream but also my parent’s.

Well, it’s not always the same story from the beginning, in fact, it was totally different. A clear goal and parents support, all set? No, there started the problem. Despite doing nothing, these people so called relatives entered.

“Spending so much for a girl?” “Let her do a simple degree and marry her to someone!” the relatives suggested. Overhearing such typical dialogues, there developed an inferiority complex and a question to my own self, “Do I really deserve to become a doctor?”. But it was more like a do or die moment!

Thank god my dad was a great pillar of support to me and his words “If you want something, you should fight for it” and that’s the wake-up call. Not only me but all my family members are now waiting for that one moment were the responsibility of treating mankind is in my hands.

Ignoring all the negativeness I decided to chase my passion knowing the responsibilities and feeling the heaviness. There started my journey of life. Here I come, to taste success and back my own negative people.


Today is my birthday…and I’m turning 10 now!

My story starts a while ago, in-fact quite a way back. I was named Ron when I was two weeks old. I don’t remember my real parents as I was adopted and I had a sister with 2 years of difference. They treated us both the same, in spite of me being adopted.  Thank god, they sent my sister to school and not me!

Well years before, I was everyone’s favorite, entertaining and making people laugh with my bizarre. They were so nice to me despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of thrown off pillows. I remember that part of time listening to people expressing certainty and secret dreams, and I believed that life was at its best.

I was taken to long walks in the park, car rides, and stops for ice cream where I only got the cone because they say ice creams are bad to me, and I took long naps out in the sun waiting for my sister to come home at the end of her school as I was her best friend. She used to “shake her fingers” at me, clung to my fur and, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, still I loved her. . . . I have super powers, yeah trust me! I can read humans! Whenever my little sister or my parents feel sick or cry, comforted them through heartbreaks and disappointments, never admonish in blame about bad decisions, and cavorted with glee at their homecomings.

Gradually years passed by, there came my competitor a few months back. He was a cute double colored little one, now he is everyone’s favorite. One day came where throughout, my parents made some phone calls and spent a lot of time with me after days. I heard him say, ‘9 a.m. tomorrow … OK … yes … I’ll tell you if anything changes. Thank you.’ He called someone else, and said, ‘I’m sorry, I’m moving to London tomorrow.’ And then they were talking about the new home. I didn’t want a new home because I loved mine.

The other day I realized the new home wouldn’t be my new home but instead my competitor’s.  They were leaving me, forever. But why I know I was middle aged but I was only 10… “No, Daddy! Please don’t let them take my Ron!” my little sister screamed.  And I worried for her. They left, I tried to follow, but I got pulled back by the ladies holding my leash.

And now, on my birthday I’m in a cage! I was given food and water. But I didn’t eat. I have become “prisoner of love!” I never express pain; instead I would say that love is worth pain! Continue reading “PRISONER OF LOVE”